The Five Healing Conditions
“Creating the Ecosystem for Transformation”
"What if breakthroughs are not the answer?”
In our culture, we often glorify the fleeting moment of discovery, the flash of clarity, the revealing of truth, the tears that feel like epiphany. And yet, a spark without fuel is just a beautiful instant. The momentum doesn’t unravel because it lacked meaning. It unravels because it lacks the conditions to stand alone, to convert the spark into an enduring fire. Healing may be ignited by the spark, but it is only sustained by what follows.
Just like the spark of flint has the potential to start a fire, it still depends on fuel: oxygen, kindling, dryness, and time to ignite. Without these conditions, the flame fades before it begins, captivating for a second and then quickly disappearing. Healing asks for the same. It is not the flash of insight alone, but the presence of conditions that fuel the fire and keep it alive.
The conditions lie at the heart of my philosophy of care. We do not heal because something dramatic happens. We heal because the conditions are created, cultivated, and grown; in the presence of what was often denied. And we heal not just once, but again and again, until the conditions become the way of life. Until the relational ecosystem keeps everything in balance.
When I first got sober, I thought the hardest part was behind me. I had cleared the substances, abstained from behaviors, and had a road map that worked for many others. But the program fell short of my vision. The dependence on substances or behaviors gave way to a new form of dependence on something outside of me. There was no transcendence, just passing on one unhealthy set of dependencies to a newer set of healthier ones. I quickly learned that sobriety wasn’t the healing, it was the opportunity for it. It was this acknowledgment that allowed me to clear the field and cultivate something new, something deeper, something transcendent.
What came next was the real work: remembering who I was before trauma conditioned my values, behaviors, and beliefs. The first and hardest step was rebuilding my integrity, earning back trust, and releasing relationships that couldn’t meet me in my newness. I had to reeducate myself on what nurturance really meant; not just what I consumed through food or substances, but the voices I allowed in, the spaces inhabited, and the boundaries I needed to build. I was able to rediscover joy, not as a reward, but as a right, even in the face of sadness, grief, and discomfort. I had to learn to sit with myself without distraction, to hear the noise I had numbed, and to feel the shame I had buried. And, as these conditions set hold, to trust my discretion in rebuilding my community, one connection at a time.
None of it came quickly, but change began to take hold with each layer uncovered. What started internally moved outward, reshaping how I lived and how I was received. My loved ones noticed, feeling the difference in how I showed up. Relationships changed as people reflected something new in our interactions. The conditions that were missing in my life were now integrated into my way of living. I finally understood that healing wasn’t about waiting for someone else to create these conditions for me. It was about learning how to create them for myself, and eventually, for others.
These five conditions became my compass. They are now the foundation of every healing container I hold. They may sound simple, but they are not easy. Like rich topsoil, they take time to cultivate. But when they are present, they nourish everything they touch.
The Five Healing Conditions
1. Integrity
Integrity is what makes healing possible because it is what holds us together. When the integrity of a vessel is compromised, whether the hull of a ship or the structure of a plane, it can no longer bear its weight. The result is sudden, complete, and often catastrophic. The same is true in our lives. We cannot build anything sustainable with a vessel or foundation that is fractured. We may try, and for a time it might appear stable. But eventually, the fault lines show.
Integrity is not about moral perfection or external performance. It is the process of restoring wholeness to a life that has been fragmented by trauma, secrecy, shame, or survival. It is the quiet, committed act of becoming someone who can hold themselves without splintering. It’s about honoring our wounding, not trying to erase it. Before we can cultivate nurturance, play, stillness, or connection, we must first become whole enough to hold them. Integrity is how that containment begins.
Where in your life are you betraying your authenticity to be accepted?
2. Nurturance
Nurturance is the act of conscious stewardship of mind, body, spirit, and environment. It is not indulgence, escape, or reward. It’s the perpetual commitment to choose inputs that regenerate rather than deplete. From the food you eat to the words you speak, the spaces you enter to the energy you allow in, nurturance is the ecosystem you curate within and around you.
It began for me with food, shifting from consumption for comfort to nourishment for healing, a shift inspired by the Hindu principle of nonviolence, or ahimsa. It quickly expanded to all inputs and consumables, from beliefs to relationships to daily habits, discerning which sustained or stripped me. Nurturance is the way we build vitality, choice by choice, moment by moment.
To nurture is to choose presence over pattern, consciousness over convenience. It is to water the soil of the self with intention, empathy, and care. Done consistently, it becomes the rhythm that makes healing not only possible but sustainable.
What are you allowing into your ecosystem: physically, emotionally, and relationally, that either nourishes or numbs?
3. Play
Play is not a luxury or a reward. It is the vital expression of aliveness, inviting the body to remember what safety feels like through movement, laughter, curiosity, and joy. It is not the activity that matters, but the freedom within it. Play dissolves time, softens the nervous system, and humbles the overly emphasized self. It quiets the inner critic and reawakens a part of us that is not here to perform, but simply to be.
A client once revealed in session, “Life doesn’t have to be so serious,” and it rang true to my heart. This subtle reminder is a profound shift in perspective. So often we trade joy for productivity and presence for perfection. Pleasure is postponed until the checklist is complete, and much like doom scrolling to find the bottom of the feed, the end is never realized. But play is not intended to be the reward for completion; it is the practice that brings us back to ourselves. It is the reminder that we are safe enough to smile, safe enough to rest, safe enough to let our guard down and allow lightness in.
Where in your life have you traded playfulness for performance, and what would it take to bring that part of you back?
4. Stillness
Stillness is not just the absence of movement. It is the presence of awareness. What remains when the noise fades, when the to-do list quiets, when the external expectations fall away and we are left with ourselves. It is not something we perform; it is something we remember when we create the internal and external opportunity for quietude.
Stillness is where integration begins. It is where the body settles, the mind softens, and the soul starts to speak. It may be the first moments we begin to hear what has been drowned out by urgency and overstimulation, the inner screaming for help or change. It may be scary, even overwhelming, but don’t run away. Walking bravely towards what is being revealed can be sacred: the deeper truth within us, the intuitive knowing we had forgotten, the next step we are ready to take.
Stillness is a sanctuary. But it often does not feel that way at first. The discomfort can be loud, the ache sharp, but over time, it becomes familiar. A welcomed friend even. It becomes the ground where true clarity and vision grow.
What would change if you made room to hear yourself more clearly?
5. Connection
Connection is not a bonus or an extra. It is the roots that allow healing to spread sustainably. If trauma is created in relationships, it must be healed within relationships. We are social, interdependent beings, and we do not get well alone. In safe connection, we are witnessed, held, softened, and slowly restored.
Connection is not about proximity, but rather presence. Any relationship must be built on safety, transparency, and trust. It requires respect, mutuality, and security. It requires the willingness to show up as we are, not as we perform. In a world where it is too easy to discard or devalue connections with the click of a button, the fragility of our communities is suffering.
For many of us, connection has been dangerous, absent, or distorted. Rebuilding it can feel vulnerable. But when connection is real, when we are held in a space that affirms our belonging, something ancient in us begins to emerge again: the intuitive knowing that we belong, we are a part of, and we are not alone.
Where are you longing to be witnessed, not as who you strive to be, but as who you already are?
When even one of these conditions is missing, something feels off. We may disconnect, retreat, feel misaligned, often without knowing why. Some reach for what once gave us relief, even if it no longer serves. Some overthink, overwork, and overextend. What’s consistent is the protecting of what is most tender through the very patterns that keep us from healing. Why? Because it is what we’ve known.
But when we create the conditions, not perfectly, but consistently, something begins to shift. Sitting through the discomfort, a new potential can be realized apart from the spinning or striving. An inner authority and trust can blossom, allowing us to return to ourselves, our essence.
Ask yourself gently: Which of these conditions is asking for your attention? And what would become possible if you began tending to it today?
In a culture that rewards speed and performance, these conditions invite something slower, more sustainable, and more human. They remind us that healing does not happen all at once. It happens breath by breath, choice by choice, condition by condition.
This is the work we do at Soul Surgeon. Whether through one-on-one sessions, couples work, or group journeys, our psychedelic-assisted relational containers are designed to help you create the conditions where healing can take root.
A quick update: I have been working hard to develop a new facilitator training program for professionals, and a cohort-based healing experience for clients ready to go deeper. Until then, if this message speaks to you, let that be enough. Reach out. We are here, and we are ready when you are.
With love and light,
John Moos, MD
Soul Surgeon